I've been tagged in the 'Look Challenge' by my favourite indie author,
Shalini Boland!
This challenge is designed to help writers recognize where common words are over-used while showcasing some of your work. 'Look' is one of the most over-used words in writing, along with other favourites such as 'just' and 'suddenly'. The following exercise might help you find and change the offending words, and is a real eye-opener!
For this challenge, here's what you need to do:
Search your manuscript for the word “look” and then copy a couple of the surrounding paragraphs into a post.
Give a little background on the scene if you’d like.
Tag 5 other writers who’re working on, or who’ve completed, a manuscript.
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| OUT NOW!!! |
Half an hour later, a faint groan escaped his lips, making the girls jump.
'Em?'
'He wants you, Em. He just groaned your name,' said Lana with a smirk as she tiptoed to his bed and looked down at the handsome young stranger.
'Grow up, Lana,' she said as she shook her head.
'Em... is that you?' he muttered with his eyes closed.
'Well, come and speak to him then,' Lana demanded.
Reluctantly, Emma stood and walked slowly to his bedside, pushing Lana to one side.
'Erm, it's me. It's Emma,' she whispered.
He held out his hand towards her. Emma's eyes opened wide and she turned to look at her sister who pushed her forward. 'Go on then.'
Inching her hand forward, she gently placed it in his. He squeezed it and opened his eyes. When he saw her he smiled, 'Em, is that you? I knew you'd come back to me.'
'But... but how do you know who I am?' she asked and he smiled.
'I could never forget you. I've been looking for you for so long.'
'You have?' Emma felt her cheeks burn while Lana sniggered behind them.
'Who are you?' she asked. He looked hurt.
'You don't know who I am?'
Emma slowly shook her head and he coughed.
'Please, may I have some water?' he asked with a hoarse voice.
Lana stepped out from behind Emma and filled the small glass from the pitcher that stood on a tray at the end of the bed. She handed it to Emma, who carefully placed the straw to the young man's lips.
'Thank you. Are you sure you don't know who I am?'
Again, she shook her head, 'I'm sorry but I've never seen you before.'
'That's impossible. You're my Em,' he whispered sadly. 'I finally found you after all these years and you don't even know who I am,' he coughed again, wincing in pain.
'Are you in pain?' asked Lana. 'Shall I fetch a nurse?' she said heading for the door.
'I... I... Em?' he wheezed as a coughing fit hit him full force.
'I'm sorry, I don't know what to do,' she panicked, bringing the straw in the glass of water to his lips again but his body began convulsing and so she stepped backwards in shock.
The door opened and a doctor in a white coat, followed by quite a butch nurse rushed in.
'Please wait outside girls,' she commanded.
Lana and Emma did as they were told, watching just before the door closed in their faces.
'What the heck was all that about?' asked Lana.
Emma looked at her sister and burst into tears.
'Em? I'm sure he'll be ok, Sis. Don't worry... he'll be fine,' she said, not quite as reassuringly as she'd hoped.
Pulling her sister away from the room, the two girls found a small sofa just down the corridor opposite a large window that looked across to Carlton Point, the highest point on the island.
Patting the seat next to her, Lana smiled as Emma sat down and leaned her head on her sister's shoulder.
The Ghost of Josiah Grimshaw is NOW AVAILABLE! WOO HOO!!
Get your copy from
Amazon US,
Amazon UK or
Smashwords (it will be available very soon from all other online retailers)
If any of you girls are unable to post 'Look', don't worry! It's just a bit of fun! :)
Here's the five authors I'm tagging
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