The 25 Day Tour of Bad Aces

Hello, folks! I'm Fisher Amelie and I'm here with the main characters of my latest novel, Callum & Harper, soon to hit shelves this Christmas Eve. So, today's post is going to be a bit different. A fan of mine recently detailed the horrors of a recent breakup of theirs and how difficult they find the process of breaking the ice with someone they're interested in. They asked me for some advice and I told them that I'd been out of the game for awhile but I knew a few young people who may be able to help.
So, welcome, Callum and Harper.
Callum: Hi.
Harper: Hello.
Fisher: So, what kind of advice would you give this fan of mine?
Callum: First thing's first, is this fan male or female?
Fisher: Male.
Harper: What does that matter, Callum?
Callum: Because if the fan was a 'she', I'd have no idea where to start. Besides, girls have it easy.
Harper: Ugh! Girls do not have it easy.
Callum: They do too! All you have to do, Harper Bailey, is bat those pretty lashes at a guy and he's all over you like white on rice.
Harper: That is possibly the most sexist thing I've ever heard you say. (Exaggeratedly bats eyes, develops Southern accent) Oh, please, sir. Pay attention to lil' ol' me. I'm in such need of a male's attention. And if you'd be so kind, please marry me, and stick a pregnant barefoot version of myself in your kitchen.
Callum: Ha, ha. That's not what I meant, Harper. All I was trying to say was that it takes a lot more work for a male to approach a female than vice versa.
Harper: No, it doesn't. It takes the same effort, Sir.
Callum: Oh, really?
Harper: Truly.
Callum: And when, pray tell, was the last time you had to approach a guy?
Harper: (Opens mouth. Shuts it) Well, I mean, I can't remember off the top of my head exactly but...
Callum: Ah, ha! See!
Harper: Callum, I just can't remember the last time I had to because I spend most of my time with you, ya' dolt!
Callum: (Turns bright red) Oh, well, um, did-did you want to, you know, go out and, um, start dating?
Harper: No. I mean, yes, I would like to start dating but, well, I don't know, what with everything going on, it's the last thing on my mind.
Callum: (Toes the wood beneath his feet, sticks hands in pocket) Oh, I see. Yeah, I suppose we are a little over our heads and all.
Harper: (Tucks hands beneath folded arms.) Yeah, it's just not a good time.
Callum: Yeah, I certainly won't be dating any time soon. (Looks up expectantly) What about you?
Harper: No, Callum. To be honest, I wouldn't want to date anyone else. I mean anyone at all...right now.
Callum: Yeah? Oh, cool.
Fisher: Uhhhhh, guys?? Can we get back on topic here?
Harper: Oh! Yeah! Sorry, Fisher! (Blushes)
Callum: So, wait, what were we talking about?
Fisher: My fan! He wanted advice on how to break the ice with girls.
Callum: Okay, well tell him that he needs to find an 'in'.
Harper: An 'in'?
Callum: Yeah, like me, for instance? I make it a point to know all the bartenders at each club I frequent, right?
Harper: Yeah?
Callum: Well, there's a reason for this. I have an 'arrangement' with them all. What I do, if I'm interested in a girl, is send the bartender a signal. Henry? At The Bowery? I tap the bar top twice and point to the girl I like and what he does, is brings me the same drink she's drinking. Then, makes a casual reference or joke about how we're drinking the exact same drink. Henry's gotten me an 'in'.
Harper: That is surprisingly pathetic yet sounds equally effective. I don't know whether to dump this bottle of water over your head or applaud.
Callum: I know! Like a charm, baby. Like a charm.
Harper: Let me guess, Charlie taught you this little gem?
Callum: Come on. That move is his signature.
Harper: I should have known. So, then what?
Callum: Well, then she finds out that we have, 'like, so much in common'. Though, I'm not really, usually a fan of soap making, that one has came in handy once or twice. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Harper: So, you're a sociopath.
Callum: No, I'm charming, there's a difference.
Harper: Sure. (Narrows eyes) Hmm.
Callum: What?
Harper: How come you never act different in front of me?
Callum: Because you're Harper, I don't have to pretend with you. You and I think, act, and live exactly the same. Duh. You're my best friend. You're... (Runs hands over mouth)
Harper: Yes?
Callum: You're my Harper. That's it.
Fisher: Well, thank you, guys. You were absolutely no help whatsoever and now the only thing I could possibly tell this fan is that he has two choices, befriend every bartender in the city or marry his best friend.
Callum and Harper: Huh?
Fisher: Never mind.

And there you have it. Totally in love with the other yet totally clueless as to what they should do about it. Yikes. Sounds like a recipe for disaster...or is it?

Thank you so much for having us, Suzy!!!!

It's an absolute pleasure, Fisher!! You are always welcome!

Author Bio:
Fisher Amelie resides in the South with her kick ace husband slash soul mate. She earned her first 'mama' patch in 2009. She also lives with her Weim, 'Jonah', and her Beta, 'Whale'. All these living creatures keep the belly of her life full, sometimes to the point of gluttony, but she doesn't mind all that much because life isn't worth living if it isn't entertaining, right?
Fisher grew up writing. She secretly hid notebooks and notebooks of dribble in a large Tupperware storage container in her closet as a kid. She didn't put two and two together until after college where it suddenly dawned on her,
"Hey, I like writing". She's a bit dense.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. Put down that Oreo, your butt can't take any more."
"You're rude."
"Yeah, yeah."
Anyway, she likes to write and has finally beaten her self-esteem into submission enough to allow herself to be scrutinized under the 'other readers' microscope. "No! No! Not a cover slip! Last time it gave me a ra...." (mumbling)

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Callum & Harper description:
Life sucks for orphans Callum Tate and Harper Bailey.
Kicked out of their foster homes because they suffer the 'eighteen disease' with nothing but a hundred dollar check from the government and a pat on the back, they're forced to rely on a system that failed them miserably.
So they sit. They sit inside Social Services, waiting for their social workers to call their names and offer them the miracle they know will never come but they sit anyway because they have nowhere else to go, no other options on their very literal and figurative empty plates.
But as they sit, they notice the other. Although captivated, they each come to the conclusion that life is complicated enough without throwing in a boiling tension that can't ever be acted upon because they're both too busy thinking about where their next meal will come from but when their names are called and both are placed on a year long waiting list for permanent housing, suddenly relying on each other seems like a very viable plan B.
And, oh, how lovely Plan B's can be.
Well, except for the psycho from Harper's past that haunts her and, oh, yeah, there's the little issue that neither of them knows they're in love with the other.
Needless to say, Callum & Harper's life just got a bit more complicated.
“One day, you and I are gonna’ wake up and be alright. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day. One day. I promise you.” - Callum Tate

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Links and such:
Fisher is running a contest for the length of her book tour! To win a signed copy of Callum & Harper just click here
Visit Fisher at her website. www.fisheramelie.com
Watch her Book Trailers here
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Feel like talking to her in private? We don't blame you, she is easily persuaded into doing illegal things. E-mail her at fisher@fisheramelie.com. Don't worry, she's put up a firewall that no government agency could penetrate.